Sunday, November 2, 2008

Rewriting a sentence


Rewriting this sentence:
“Casually he told her he loved her”


Smiling he looked deep into her soul and kissed her

Starring into her eyes he took he hand and gently kissed her

Deeply looking into her eyes he gently took her hand and kissed it.

He smiled looking deep into her eyes moved closer and kissed her.

Smiling he looked deep into her soul and kissed her.

He gracefully turned to her, smiling he kissed her soft lips

Tuning to face her he smiled and kissed her sweet soft lips

He kissed her with a smile

With a wink of his eye he gently kissed her

Glowing he turned and kissed her

Savoring the moment he kissed her gently

Whats your favorite?

6 comments:

Ares said...

He gracefully turned to her, smiling he kissed her soft lips.

so sweet.. :D just like in asian soaps

Ares said...

may i ask you, do you use the snowflake method in writing?

Carrie Amie said...

Thanks...

May I ask what is the snowflake method? I might...

Ares said...

snowflake method is when you first create the most basic details as to get the whole picture, and then gradually expand the thought. for more details see this site

http://www.writetoinspire.com/article1258.html

i'm trying this but i'm itching to start right away.. haha! i just made a pretty messy rough draft of my chapters and began writing. but i lessen the details so that i could finish more easily. i'll just expand it later.

Carrie Amie said...

um I guess in a way I do. I usually just start writing and keep going until I find my self stopping too often... then I stop and go over it. Adding more detail. The detail definately comes into play later on.

I am curious to see your stuff :)

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