Sunday, March 15, 2009

Missing days and months back to you

Boy runs away, it’s his turn to leave.
Not sure where to go, what move to make next.
He continues,
going away from you.

Running from truth, running from fear, he does not stop to listen
No hesitations… not one thought.
Away he goes.

He feels nothing,
his body is numb.
The world stops around him as he runs by, not noticing all the greatness around him.

He does not understand that things move forward even when you stop looking.
The world cannot pause for one to catch up to life.

It’s all changing,
There’s no way to reverse. He can’t go back.

On and on he goes,
as hours mesh into days, weeks just a blur of colors that he passes by.

Until one day he finally wakes up and realizes his faults.
he was running away from what should have been.

Tracing back his steps, he gets lost along the way searching for the thing he feared the most.
The thing his heart now aches for.
You.

He didn’t know it was you.
He did not see you standing there till now.
He did not look closely enough.

Time has a funny way of bringing us back together,
in a huge jigsaw puzzle.
Everyone searching for the right piece.
The missing piece.

But do not worry...some how the puzzle transforms into a masterpiece of life.

Once Upon A Time

Do you remember a time
when the world was only as big as your own personal stage

When emotions were heightened and words could form daggers
each one making their mark. The good and the bad

When life was simple.
No responsibilities, no bills, no obligations.
It was just you, and your world packaged by friends and family.

When learning happened naturally. But days were much longer.
Minutes lasted for hours and sunny days never ended.

When sarcastic judgments hurt and torn at your very soul,
Causing you to tremble and fall apart.

When your identity was a fight, with hormones and a mix of emotions you never understood.
Meanings coming to be, when the time was right.

When summer seemed to last forever and best friends were really there
….through everything.

It was a time we will always remember.
A time we wished we did more and took bigger risks.

It was a time of discovery.
A time of joy, sorrow, excitement and fear for the unexpected, the unimaginable and the amazing.
All happening at the same time.

It was a time, when we were invisible. When we could achieve anything
but did not have the confidence to know what we were truly capable of.

It was a time when things were cheaper and candy was a full course meal.

Yet, life is much more complicated than I once thought

Here now, looking back at then
I smile at the choice I made, the mistakes I suffered through, the happiness I celebrated and the pain I overcame.

Now I have the confidence to succeed as my identity continues to expand.

I would not change any of my actions.

These are the important pieces of me.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Rock Bottom

Found her in a place I’d never go. A place I’d never wanna be. Used and abused her body re-plays the chaos of what once was important… to her.

Eyes so empty. A body, only bones. Tears shimmer as they are sucked into her tired skin.

She looks up at me with an expressionless expression, so lost, so broken.

Hollow.

Her long brown hair hangs in clumps hiding her bare jagged shoulders. She’s covered in a fine layer of dust. As if she was an old broken and chipped lamp that no one touched.

Only one strap holds her cotton gown. It manages to keep the fabric draped over her body. Once upon a time a beautiful dress now the remains of sad stories and played out battles. Blood, sweat, tears, and dirt.

Her knees are cut, scabs still leaking. Hands shake as she tries to steady her body against the rocks.

She sits there like a crumpled cardboard box, uncomfortable with who she is, where she is and what she has become.

Reaching out my hand, she turns away, shuts her eyes, braces her body and pretends to hide. Harm has been done. Is it too late?

Realizing her faults she examines me bottom up, from feet to head. Scanning every inch until she reaches my eyes. Looking deeply into my soul as if she might recognize me now, if only she could look harder.

This is the end of the beginning.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Naked & Vulnerable

Today’s the day I change my path. I take a stand to bare all. There’s no holding back, nothing left unsaid. Everything out for you to see; naked and vulnerable. No gimmicks, no sugar coating, no bells and whistles. Only the raw truth for your eyes to see.

Today will change our path. This fog we’re floating in will be forced to clear. Hear my words clearly and feel my heart strong and true behind each expressed desire. This is not an easy task, but it must be done.

So listen carefully to what you hear, what you see, what you feel. Imagine what it would all be like without me. I say this in kindness wondering what if. What if us? What if I did not exist, would be things be ok?

I’ve laid it all on the line. I’ve given you time, I’ve given you space. Know that even though we don’t speak you’re often in my thoughts. Controlling my emotional hills and dips from afar.

You will not know a thing about my emotional struggle as you meet my strong fa├žade. But, look deeply... you just might.

Realize what’s here in time, before I fade away.