tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38720157006245693382023-11-15T08:41:11.506-08:00My thoughts, poems and short storiesCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.comBlogger171125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-50995482305695533802012-09-16T13:07:00.002-07:002012-12-10T10:18:05.986-08:00Dreaming of what used to be <br />
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Tell me your weaknesses I’ll tell you mine.</div>
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Hold them in your hands carefully</div>
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<br /></div>
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This trust is broken when hurtful words hit hard</div>
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Your cruel behavior purposely chosen to slash my heart and
make me bleed</div>
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<br /></div>
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These truths I told you now used as weapons</div>
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Slowly eat away at the love I once had for you</div>
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<br /></div>
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You tear each bit without hesitation</div>
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Watching me crumble, while feeling satisfaction</div>
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<br /></div>
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Never thought the one I cared for could act this way</div>
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Don’t know how much longer I can hold on to this happy faded
image of what once was</div>
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I grasp onto it with all my might</div>
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<br /></div>
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How can you look straight at me and hurt me so</div>
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After all that I have done</div>
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All that I continue to do</div>
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All that you say you want</div>
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<br /></div>
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I’m falling away faster than you care to notice</div>
Carrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-35899438568459574202012-08-25T09:45:00.000-07:002012-09-16T13:13:07.555-07:00Hurts It Stings <style>
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<br />
You’re words are so hurtful
<br />
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You really have no idea</div>
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Instead you use this tool like mass weapons</div>
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Aimed to do their
worst</div>
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Stop</div>
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<br /></div>
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It’s time to turn off and block things coming from you</div>
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I see your lips move </div>
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So I create nothing but silence</div>
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Looking closer I try to read what you speak</div>
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Stop</div>
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Block those lips and fade them out</div>
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<br /></div>
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You’re just a figure standing in front of me</div>
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Silent with rage, infused with anger and ready to strike</div>
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You can’t strike when there’s no target for you to take aim</div>
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<br /></div>
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I’m stronger than this, won’t take it no more</div>
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Beat me down and I’ll try harder to tower over you</div>
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<br /></div>
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You know how to hurt me, what things to say and how to talk</div>
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Now blocked, you have no ammunition left </div>
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<br /></div>
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Needing to stop this for my own sanity</div>
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An impenetrable force field</div>
Carrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-78668874950948975942012-08-07T21:54:00.002-07:002012-08-07T21:54:21.976-07:00Undeniable malfunction<style>
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<br />
Up, down. Side to side.
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A fractured machine bouncing place to place</div>
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Creating misfit endings</div>
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and undone beginnings</div>
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Needing repair, ignored dismay</div>
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Pushed forward to work yet another day</div>
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Rattled banging, clashing pieces.</div>
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Dents and cracks no longer superficial</div>
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<br /></div>
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Trudging through with no end destination</div>
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Shards and fragments left behind</div>
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<br /></div>
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No longer producing end results</div>
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Failing to prevail</div>
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Two paths to be chosen</div>
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Stuck at the cross road </div>
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tittering on the edge.</div>Carrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-65960303322325988922012-04-21T16:18:00.001-07:002012-04-21T21:33:09.370-07:00Desires so far from realityMy head’s spinning.<br />
I have nothing else to give<br />
I’m numb with emotion<br />
An art I once knew well lost in time and forgotten<br />
<br />
I don’t know what to do or where to turn<br />
I can’t feel<br />
I want to throw up<br />
Breaking out of learning to care<br />
Learning to forget to make an effort<br />
Coasting through in monotoneCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-67352173020518189662011-03-21T23:58:00.001-07:002011-03-21T23:58:53.519-07:00Unrestrained ThoughtsEach_Step_Planned_Out<br />Over thought and analyzed <br />Organized meticulously<br />Decisions strategically manicured<br /><br />And just like that, the glass shatters<br />Reality ruptures, mind snaps, followed with illogical actions <br /><br />Cruel words come rushing though a dam now fractured<br />Flooding to, searching for, bystanders in the way<br /><br />Relentless and shocking storms hit hard<br />Radiating from her body<br />Heart beat rages, body heats<br /><br />Relief comes as the flood finally reaches her eyes<br />Broken, realizing what damage has been done<br /><br />Bowing her head, ashamed, devastated <br />A control much harder to planCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-75112840818430834412011-02-27T09:27:00.000-08:002011-02-27T09:28:53.542-08:00MatriarchMy eyes swell up, consumed by tears by the thought of you<br />The mention of your name <br />Passing by your familiar places<br />A reflection I thought I saw<br /><br />How has it been a year without you?<br />I don’t know how I’ve done it<br />Without your wise advice and companionship<br /><br />It was you that held the family together<br />The wise figure reining over us all<br /><br />I wanted more time with you<br />Its not fair they too you<br /><br />This will never be easy as I’m forced to live without you<br /><br />Missing you always and <br />Loving you soCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-25457458694200276052011-02-27T09:19:00.000-08:002011-02-27T09:20:48.158-08:00Chaotic RestraintDeep breaths don’t calm the inside<br />Now what’s on your mind?<br /><br />Impatience something difficult to over come<br />When nothing comes out except for manifested, unrealistic worries<br /><br />A firm grip so far from reach<br />I like the pain<br />Use to the hurt<br />Play simplistic charades with the world<br /><br />Fairytales looming in the back of my mind<br />Come to tragic ends in reality<br /><br />Sneak away to another life<br />My dreams keep me safe<br /><br />Living comfortably between these sheetsCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-7332660312036675702011-02-08T22:46:00.000-08:002011-02-08T22:53:39.881-08:00The first partHead and heart<br />Distractions speaking gibberish<br />Given control and feeling weak<br /><br />Lost sight of possessions that<br /> Should never be forgotten<br />Decks been dealt<br />So flip the table, this is not definite <br /><br />Me and mine, not to be held<br /> By undeserving hands<br />Closed my eyes-wide-open<br />Seeing nothing but static<br /><br />Step back and see only a <br /> Reflection<br />Gone in a flash, when opportunities <br /> Are missed<br /><br />Smarter than that, take the wheel<br />Tie a knot around your finger<br />Share thoughts<br />Stepping through the present<br /> TogetherCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-47363081702929751092011-01-31T22:45:00.001-08:002011-01-31T22:45:52.879-08:00Here I amHonesty is what I give<br />Hoping to receive it in return<br /><br />Keeping fingers crossed you see something here<br /><br />Something’s here, <br />I don’t know how but I feel it, <br />It feels different<br /><br />I miss you and want you closer<br />I’ll come to you to set it straight<br />This is who I am<br />What I do best<br />Laying myself out there<br />As a target for passers by<br />Stop a while, join me here<br />Don’t walk onCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-22732559878446510252011-01-31T22:37:00.001-08:002011-01-31T22:37:52.656-08:00Chasing TAILSBusy busy our paths are hard to come to one<br />Timetables fill so quickly<br />While thinking of you<br /><br />Your encouraging words speak positively <br />To a girl too fragile to admit<br />Controlling herself to let go<br /><br />You’re a hard one to read<br />I want to bring you closer, but don’t know what you’re after<br /><br />We have been here, a different time<br />I want this time to be better<br />Watch it grow<br /><br />Why do I worry so much, how can I stop?<br />Maybe it’s because this will happen<br />And deep down I’m scared to be vulnerable<br /><br />When intentions come to surface <br />I want to be yoursCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-68795141129041740992011-01-31T22:29:00.000-08:002011-01-31T22:31:22.190-08:00Emotionally Fragile ConfidenceMy strength is when I’m with you<br />Strongest when I’m in your arms<br />No manifesting self talk, or words whispered in my ears<br />My self assurance at an all time high<br /><br />We part, my confidence powerful<br />A force to be reckoned with<br />I smile when I think of us<br /><br />As time passes in both our hectic lives<br />Gaps between slowly take me away<br /><br />Nerves break in and make me anxious<br />Past heart triggers not easy to forget<br /><br />Are you all like that?<br /><br />Taking what I want, I don’t like games<br />Brain washed by the poisonous thoughts of others<br />I hesitate with each action<br />I stop myself from reaching for you<br />Wanting nothing more but to feel wanted back<br /><br />My desire for you runs thick<br />A magical depth for you to discoverCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-43319014439577698972011-01-16T22:00:00.000-08:002011-01-16T22:01:09.814-08:00CirclesWaiting for things I have no control over is hard for me to handle<br />I sit and busy myself while the thought lingers literally driving me mad<br /><br />It’s silly what can be constructed in my mind with foolish ideas implanted<br /><br />I worry when worrying gets me now where and produces no resultsCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-22694119646141335682011-01-09T00:43:00.000-08:002011-01-09T21:13:16.180-08:00Weak in the kneesSplitting myself in two <br />Much harder than it seems<br />When all I want is you<br /><br />Trying to tear head from heart<br />When mind speaks words the heart does not want to hear<br />Heart retaliates more powerful than ever <br />The battles begun<br /><br />Awkwardly nervousness seems to explain the way I am <br />Worried about getting hurt and wandering down that same old road<br />Yet this road isn’t something familiar<br /><br />Wishing I could step back and learn to listen to my instincts<br /><br />Things happened so quickly I can’t find which ways forward<br />Where’s my next move?<br /><br />I need to relax but I don’t know how<br />Jump ship or wait till you play your next card?<br />The beginnings so confusing<br />Feeling so amazing with you <br />I’m afraid<br />Moving so fast I can’t keep up with the pace<br /><br />I’m not that girl, nervous and jealous <br />But it’s created when chance encounters present obstacles for me<br />I run straight into them, a full body collision<br />Not knowing what to do<br /><br />Can we just fast-forward together to a time I’m yours and you’re mine<br /><br />My hearts in deep and my head even further<br />I’m so flabbergasted<br /><br />I can’t tell what this is or really explain what’s going on<br />Please make the move and claim me for you to keep<br />Vulnerabilities not easy to swallowCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-71454231268991198722011-01-09T00:40:00.000-08:002011-01-09T00:47:31.925-08:00Intensity eruptsYour hands over my body create a natural ecstasy from head to toe<br /><br />My toes curl as you draw me closer <br />Holding me tight and taking control<br /><br />This intensity makes me go wild<br />As I try to mute my passionate cries<br /><br />Power like this doesn’t come easily but some how you’ve take the reigns and pulled me in.<br /><br />Being in your arms is euphoric<br />Take me closer and do it again<br /><br />My breathing turns erratic as sweat beads on my body<br />I escalate with you to a point I can’t hold on <br />Muscles tense and twisting<br /><br />Released from within I gasp for air and feel sensations so intense <br />Lying back, I begin to catch my breath once again<br />Still in your arms<br />Not leaving your sideCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-47783058512074270172011-01-09T00:38:00.000-08:002011-01-09T00:39:57.966-08:00Taken by itClose my eyes, I dream of you<br />Open them again and you’re still there<br /><br />Smiling and looking back at me<br />I could get lost in your eyes<br /><br />Leaving me wanting more, I wanna pull you close, but before I do, <br />You take the action first<br /><br />There’s no rules this time, games all played out<br />It’s just you and I <br />It’s just real<br /><br />Give me butterflies once again and I’ll take you further with me<br />I’m pleasantly surprised by this feeling you have with me<br />I’m awkward because you make me happily nervous, those butterflies don’t leave<br /><br />Your touch just feels so genuinely right<br />Come and hold me moreCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-23282370730899378442011-01-03T01:11:00.000-08:002011-01-03T01:12:25.882-08:00True NorthQuestioning simple ideas but taking leaps of faith when caught by you<br /><br />I look to your eyes and see something, I’m not sure what to do<br /><br />Our paths crashed together once again<br />It just seems natural<br /><br />I kid, you joke, as flirting takes a sharp left turn and morphs<br />Purity, Passion is just there.<br /><br />Something about you makes me want to hold on tight and not let go.<br /><br />My nervous giggles vocalize a power you have taken over me<br /><br />As I breathe deeply I try my best to take my time,<br />Hoping you will keep coming to me<br /><br />A pull that cannot be denied.Carrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-12167814730641519722010-12-25T01:29:00.000-08:002010-12-27T23:11:24.808-08:00Can yesterday continue today?Not thinking straight, my head jumbled with thoughts.<br />Wanting things that scare me blind<br />I can’t think clearly, my decisions chosen quickly and carried out clumsy reactions<br /><br />Words make no sense, guarded by emotions that give me butterflies<br />I’m so scared, I stand still to immobilize chaotic ideas around me<br />When nothing stops I don’t know what to do<br /><br />Years apart melt away as if everything happened yesterday, is now today, <br />your hold so familiar<br /><br />What do I want, what do I need, what do I say when my nerves freeze as soon as words pass through my lips.<br /><br />For the first time I have no idea what I should do. I crave you more but can’t let you know just yet. This drives me crazy, so scared to mess up. Like me for me and take me in your arms once again. This time don’t let go and I promise to hold on.Carrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-33765823399509216852010-12-25T01:21:00.000-08:002010-12-25T01:22:55.552-08:00Circular laps running stillRemembering past decisions with no words of regret<br />But sometimes curiosity lingers, wondering what I have done<br /><br />Have I treated others badly?<br />Been careless with hearts given to me?<br />Are my actions selfish and egocentric?<br /><br />I can picture a time with you. The days we shared, the connection that came so easily. <br />I pushed you away and ignored what we had. <br />Scared by what I saw in your eyes.<br /><br />Keeping my fingers crossed I hope that I wasn’t careless, hurtful.<br /><br />Truth be told, I’ve thought of you often. I’m not sure how you’ve stuck around in my head.<br /><br />So here we are full circle, years brought maturity, distance between.<br />Now our paths cross once again. Destiny is a weird game I don’t understand <br />Learning as I go.Carrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-14079854681872302512010-12-25T01:16:00.000-08:002010-12-25T01:17:39.687-08:00Family tiesOur relationship is one of passing ships<br />Blaring horns hello as we go from port to port<br /><br />I have no doubt you’d be there for me if a crisis arose and I needed your help.<br /><br />It’s the everyday stuff I need you for. A warming voice a helping hand that I have longed for since I was a child seeking your approval but never really getting it.<br /><br />To be honest our relationship sucks. I call you to talk, ask for your advice<br />Answer the call with an annoyed too busy for you tone of voice each time “WHAT---“ then just end the call with no goodbye<br /><br />Do you know these actions hurt those around you? Do you know how the tone of your voice can make me feel useless and unimportant?<br /><br />I’ve tried to build a relationship with you, one better than we have. But its been no use because each time I do it’s canceled, rebooked or forgotten.<br /><br />Why do I have to get upset, frustrated with tears before you help me. This family is treading on water, relationships thin as paper.Carrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-42115238737108620742010-12-25T01:10:00.001-08:002010-12-25T01:10:52.596-08:00UnbalancedI cannot trust you as I once did. <br />I tread through words to ensure my safety when I’m with you.<br /><br />I’m on high alert watching my every step. Trust abused has not been earned back.<br /><br />The one I relied on calls only when something is needed from me. I foolishly give and adjust myself to fit this image projected on to me.<br /><br />I give you take and take some more, so wrapped up in a tiny bubble of your world. I don’t understand why you don’t care, how you act like all is normal and take from me, it’s bigger that this.<br /><br />Can you see this tipping scale, it’s plain to see, careful now its all about to <br />Topple.Carrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-65197483043534592172010-11-07T21:40:00.000-08:002010-11-07T21:41:29.778-08:00Matching PiecesWhat blows through my mind when I think of you<br /><br />Puzzles with no pictures, feelings undefined<br /><br />Distance tames a heart too quick to jump in the deep, too giving before it’s earned<br /><br />A links been open, I’m feeling pulled in a direction with small stepping stones<br /><br />It’s these stones that turn to fast, forming leaps of faith. Reminding myself there’s no rush. I clench my teeth and resist the urge.<br /><br />Another moment with you, come closer. <br />I have you already; you make me nervous too soon<br /><br />Fits on all endsCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-4681754685966533172010-11-07T21:39:00.000-08:002010-11-07T21:40:26.307-08:00X DA vision you’ve created, now take stance!<br />A creature I dread and feel no connection too.<br /><br />What have you done with words in print, pure ignorance, sheer adolescence<br /><br />I walk in fear as I stay in the light, terrified you’re in the shadows. Keeping a watch on my every move.<br /><br />Pace grows faster as I sprint away from you. All relations ceased, finger held firmly on the panic, keys in hand.<br /><br />You’ve twisted a framed disaster, how do you feel now?<br /><br />Time to stop you're teetering on insanity<br /><br />No ties left, they’re all undone<br />Leave me here, don’t you dare come back<br />I was done before we even startedCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-48858524913468595372010-11-07T21:26:00.001-08:002010-11-07T21:26:48.570-08:00CrumblingThere’s a wrecking ball inside my head destroying all my sanity.Carrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-37033024698051935612010-11-07T21:23:00.000-08:002010-11-07T21:24:35.140-08:00Shutting the door with your foot in the wayLeaving me with questions. I can’t find the words. What was this thing now passed by?<br /><br />Linger here longer, playing stories in your head. They eat away at a heart forced not to feel.<br /><br />I’m standing strong, hold my ground. You don’t know me, only a flicker that once past.<br /><br />Keeping links open, do you know what you do? I’m done trying it's up to you.<br /><br />I turn my back and walk away, picking up pace the further I stray.Carrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3872015700624569338.post-39791608266860333072010-11-07T21:22:00.000-08:002010-11-07T21:23:28.988-08:00In ControlA change for the better<br />A change for the worse<br /><br />Who is this<br />Someone not often noticed<br />Full of false hopes and useless fillers<br /><br />It’s different here, pealing back protective layers<br />Care is given freely but never asked in return<br /><br />Too proud to admit defeat<br />Too concrete to appear weak<br /><br />A stone stood tall with long blond hair<br />Seeing a reflection for the 1st time<br /><br />Loving yourself comes easy for most<br />But now must be learned<br />As the for the first time, the needs of others placed lastCarrie Amiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05186460130342723688noreply@blogger.com0