Unrestrained Thoughts

Each_Step_Planned_Out
Over thought and analyzed
Organized meticulously
Decisions strategically manicured

And just like that, the glass shatters
Reality ruptures, mind snaps, followed with illogical actions

Cruel words come rushing though a dam now fractured
Flooding to, searching for, bystanders in the way

Relentless and shocking storms hit hard
Radiating from her body
Heart beat rages, body heats

Relief comes as the flood finally reaches her eyes
Broken, realizing what damage has been done

Bowing her head, ashamed, devastated
A control much harder to plan

Matriarch

My eyes swell up, consumed by tears by the thought of you
The mention of your name
Passing by your familiar places
A reflection I thought I saw

How has it been a year without you?
I don’t know how I’ve done it
Without your wise advice and companionship

It was you that held the family together
The wise figure reining over us all

I wanted more time with you
Its not fair they too you

This will never be easy as I’m forced to live without you

Missing you always and
Loving you so

Chaotic Restraint

Deep breaths don’t calm the inside
Now what’s on your mind?

Impatience something difficult to over come
When nothing comes out except for manifested, unrealistic worries

A firm grip so far from reach
I like the pain
Use to the hurt
Play simplistic charades with the world

Fairytales looming in the back of my mind
Come to tragic ends in reality

Sneak away to another life
My dreams keep me safe

Living comfortably between these sheets

The first part

Head and heart
Distractions speaking gibberish
Given control and feeling weak

Lost sight of possessions that
Should never be forgotten
Decks been dealt
So flip the table, this is not definite

Me and mine, not to be held
By undeserving hands
Closed my eyes-wide-open
Seeing nothing but static

Step back and see only a
Reflection
Gone in a flash, when opportunities
Are missed

Smarter than that, take the wheel
Tie a knot around your finger
Share thoughts
Stepping through the present
Together

Here I am

Honesty is what I give
Hoping to receive it in return

Keeping fingers crossed you see something here

Something’s here,
I don’t know how but I feel it,
It feels different

I miss you and want you closer
I’ll come to you to set it straight
This is who I am
What I do best
Laying myself out there
As a target for passers by
Stop a while, join me here
Don’t walk on

Chasing TAILS

Busy busy our paths are hard to come to one
Timetables fill so quickly
While thinking of you

Your encouraging words speak positively
To a girl too fragile to admit
Controlling herself to let go

You’re a hard one to read
I want to bring you closer, but don’t know what you’re after

We have been here, a different time
I want this time to be better
Watch it grow

Why do I worry so much, how can I stop?
Maybe it’s because this will happen
And deep down I’m scared to be vulnerable

When intentions come to surface
I want to be yours

Emotionally Fragile Confidence

My strength is when I’m with you
Strongest when I’m in your arms
No manifesting self talk, or words whispered in my ears
My self assurance at an all time high

We part, my confidence powerful
A force to be reckoned with
I smile when I think of us

As time passes in both our hectic lives
Gaps between slowly take me away

Nerves break in and make me anxious
Past heart triggers not easy to forget

Are you all like that?

Taking what I want, I don’t like games
Brain washed by the poisonous thoughts of others
I hesitate with each action
I stop myself from reaching for you
Wanting nothing more but to feel wanted back

My desire for you runs thick
A magical depth for you to discover