Unrestrained Thoughts

Each_Step_Planned_Out
Over thought and analyzed
Organized meticulously
Decisions strategically manicured

And just like that, the glass shatters
Reality ruptures, mind snaps, followed with illogical actions

Cruel words come rushing though a dam now fractured
Flooding to, searching for, bystanders in the way

Relentless and shocking storms hit hard
Radiating from her body
Heart beat rages, body heats

Relief comes as the flood finally reaches her eyes
Broken, realizing what damage has been done

Bowing her head, ashamed, devastated
A control much harder to plan

Matriarch

My eyes swell up, consumed by tears by the thought of you
The mention of your name
Passing by your familiar places
A reflection I thought I saw

How has it been a year without you?
I don’t know how I’ve done it
Without your wise advice and companionship

It was you that held the family together
The wise figure reining over us all

I wanted more time with you
Its not fair they too you

This will never be easy as I’m forced to live without you

Missing you always and
Loving you so

Chaotic Restraint

Deep breaths don’t calm the inside
Now what’s on your mind?

Impatience something difficult to over come
When nothing comes out except for manifested, unrealistic worries

A firm grip so far from reach
I like the pain
Use to the hurt
Play simplistic charades with the world

Fairytales looming in the back of my mind
Come to tragic ends in reality

Sneak away to another life
My dreams keep me safe

Living comfortably between these sheets

The first part

Head and heart
Distractions speaking gibberish
Given control and feeling weak

Lost sight of possessions that
Should never be forgotten
Decks been dealt
So flip the table, this is not definite

Me and mine, not to be held
By undeserving hands
Closed my eyes-wide-open
Seeing nothing but static

Step back and see only a
Reflection
Gone in a flash, when opportunities
Are missed

Smarter than that, take the wheel
Tie a knot around your finger
Share thoughts
Stepping through the present
Together

Here I am

Honesty is what I give
Hoping to receive it in return

Keeping fingers crossed you see something here

Something’s here,
I don’t know how but I feel it,
It feels different

I miss you and want you closer
I’ll come to you to set it straight
This is who I am
What I do best
Laying myself out there
As a target for passers by
Stop a while, join me here
Don’t walk on

Chasing TAILS

Busy busy our paths are hard to come to one
Timetables fill so quickly
While thinking of you

Your encouraging words speak positively
To a girl too fragile to admit
Controlling herself to let go

You’re a hard one to read
I want to bring you closer, but don’t know what you’re after

We have been here, a different time
I want this time to be better
Watch it grow

Why do I worry so much, how can I stop?
Maybe it’s because this will happen
And deep down I’m scared to be vulnerable

When intentions come to surface
I want to be yours

Emotionally Fragile Confidence

My strength is when I’m with you
Strongest when I’m in your arms
No manifesting self talk, or words whispered in my ears
My self assurance at an all time high

We part, my confidence powerful
A force to be reckoned with
I smile when I think of us

As time passes in both our hectic lives
Gaps between slowly take me away

Nerves break in and make me anxious
Past heart triggers not easy to forget

Are you all like that?

Taking what I want, I don’t like games
Brain washed by the poisonous thoughts of others
I hesitate with each action
I stop myself from reaching for you
Wanting nothing more but to feel wanted back

My desire for you runs thick
A magical depth for you to discover

Circles

Waiting for things I have no control over is hard for me to handle
I sit and busy myself while the thought lingers literally driving me mad

It’s silly what can be constructed in my mind with foolish ideas implanted

I worry when worrying gets me now where and produces no results

Weak in the knees

Splitting myself in two
Much harder than it seems
When all I want is you

Trying to tear head from heart
When mind speaks words the heart does not want to hear
Heart retaliates more powerful than ever
The battles begun

Awkwardly nervousness seems to explain the way I am
Worried about getting hurt and wandering down that same old road
Yet this road isn’t something familiar

Wishing I could step back and learn to listen to my instincts

Things happened so quickly I can’t find which ways forward
Where’s my next move?

I need to relax but I don’t know how
Jump ship or wait till you play your next card?
The beginnings so confusing
Feeling so amazing with you
I’m afraid
Moving so fast I can’t keep up with the pace

I’m not that girl, nervous and jealous
But it’s created when chance encounters present obstacles for me
I run straight into them, a full body collision
Not knowing what to do

Can we just fast-forward together to a time I’m yours and you’re mine

My hearts in deep and my head even further
I’m so flabbergasted

I can’t tell what this is or really explain what’s going on
Please make the move and claim me for you to keep
Vulnerabilities not easy to swallow

Intensity erupts

Your hands over my body create a natural ecstasy from head to toe

My toes curl as you draw me closer
Holding me tight and taking control

This intensity makes me go wild
As I try to mute my passionate cries

Power like this doesn’t come easily but some how you’ve take the reigns and pulled me in.

Being in your arms is euphoric
Take me closer and do it again

My breathing turns erratic as sweat beads on my body
I escalate with you to a point I can’t hold on
Muscles tense and twisting

Released from within I gasp for air and feel sensations so intense
Lying back, I begin to catch my breath once again
Still in your arms
Not leaving your side

Taken by it

Close my eyes, I dream of you
Open them again and you’re still there

Smiling and looking back at me
I could get lost in your eyes

Leaving me wanting more, I wanna pull you close, but before I do,
You take the action first

There’s no rules this time, games all played out
It’s just you and I
It’s just real

Give me butterflies once again and I’ll take you further with me
I’m pleasantly surprised by this feeling you have with me
I’m awkward because you make me happily nervous, those butterflies don’t leave

Your touch just feels so genuinely right
Come and hold me more

True North

Questioning simple ideas but taking leaps of faith when caught by you

I look to your eyes and see something, I’m not sure what to do

Our paths crashed together once again
It just seems natural

I kid, you joke, as flirting takes a sharp left turn and morphs
Purity, Passion is just there.

Something about you makes me want to hold on tight and not let go.

My nervous giggles vocalize a power you have taken over me

As I breathe deeply I try my best to take my time,
Hoping you will keep coming to me

A pull that cannot be denied.