Sometimes I think too much but say nothing at all

Paralyzed from emotions of sorrow
I sway in still-time
Overwhelmed by a sickening feeling in my gut

I watched as it slowly fell to pieces
A bystander to destruction

Walk away with pain in your eyes
I hurt you too much
While causing you to feel something too real

In the blink of an eye it’s gone
Lost back where it begun
Too far ahead there’s no going back

The hardest thing my heart made me do was to tell you I don’t love you
I do not hate just care too much
I see where you have gone

As anger builds within, heal the wounds
And release the pain
For what not easy was never meant to be

Across from me?

I sit here across from you
Seeing your lips move with no sounds
I wonder if I missing it
If it’s sitting here in front of me
As I watch it pass me by

Ever wonder when we know
How to tell which way to go
You’re here with me
But only for now
As our path separate
Diverge once again

Flash encounters of life
Looking for the thing we need
Seeing it starring back at me

strangled simles

Pushing together strangled smiles
The world distorts the truth around me
Hidden words spewing from everyone, hit me like razors
targeting my heart

time --------- lost

Days have past quicker than expected.
5 days gone 3 to go
Our talks feel empty as I wish for your attention receiving not what I was looking for.
My insecurities run wild trying to see where you are.
My feelings are here but wary of you
What has happened?

Missing pages between

I sit here struggling with the thoughts in my head.
Holding something so perfect, not sure it belongs to me.
My mind wanders in paths with dead ends, places I’ve traveled long ago.

I worry about my unconscious thoughts,
those I have no control,
no power to make disappear.

With you my mind is clear, free
But my heart is not there yet

I wait for a decision to be made, for the haze to life
For me to be with you.

I miss your company when you’re gone.
Your touch, your attention,
I crave so bad.

My struggles are hidden as you assume we’re on the same page
But here I hide a chapter before you.

Fight or Flight

Retreat, retreat, turn around and run. Book it out of here; escape the reality of tripping before you fall.

Wanting your attention
Craving your touch
My heart fears pain and sends messages to my legs to run

I battle myself, trying to hold on to something I’m used to. All too comfortable with you and settling in.

This scares me more than I’ll ever admit. I fall to my knees, protected here in my sanctuary.

Sitting here peacefully, taking in the sun, the sounds of water dancing in the sea and the metallic clatter of the rising dock… my nerves relax and release my troubles into the wind.

Away they go.

I still worry of where to go, but for now I breathe a little more freely, seeing the panic is not worth anxiety’s emotional pull on my identity.

I’m good at faking normality when inside I want to shake my head and scream and run.

Abandon ship?
Sinking lifeboats.

Reality A Game?

Happiness walks in and sits on my heart.
Takes over my thoughts and consumes my days.

Your touch crashes into my body and consumes me whole.

Open and free there’s you and me and a time for us.

Keeping the pace, mind settles into a state of bliss.

Has it come again to toy with me or is this time real.