Once was now

Looking back to press forward
Conjuring strength to manifest control
Taking it all back
Rewinding pitfalls, a firm grip with idealism

Pealing back layers,
To better discover
Once was true predicts the future

Snarley

There once was a girl much older than her years lived. Her experiences taught her life lessons much earlier than most. She lived through times one cannot imagine and came through as a strong woman.


But, she did not know of this strength.


She was an analyst, insightful about all those around her. If you’d ask her to help, she wouldn’t hesitate to lend a hand. She was beautiful inside and out. She had a way about her that attracted others to her.


But, she was not conscious of the power she held.


She was a healer, a caregiver to those around her. Many were captivated by her presence and yet she struggled with the messes of day-to-day life. Her mind beat down her passion as often she found herself thinking too much.


So here you are my darling, see what we all see here: A strong woman, with amazing power, grab hold and experience what is simply waiting for you to find. Let those thoughts drift out of your mind and release them to paper, don’t look back, don’t share, let them sit on these pages and vanish.


Just know this, you’ll be ok. I promise it will all work out. Learn from the experiences presented to you and tackle the next.

Inevitable

As I step back my wall slowly appears in front of me
All too familiar
I watch it grow as the block breaks the path between you and I

You’ve done it now, there’s no turning back
Stepping tippy toed, taking a glimpse of a power you once held so ignorantly

Sad thing is, you don’t even know
I’ve captured you already
Just wait and see
It will become clear, when time decides

The tricky things is
My heart moves on, not held in one place
My peace has been said

Yours is stuck, you’ll feel it soon
As you shut out the panics of your mind and finally hear your heart

It will all come undone for us see
Hidden between the two

Learn from it now,
Don’t let me be.

Impossible

I catch your eye
Just a glance, a smile
Walk my way; I’ll run a mile

Don’t come close
Toxic as can be
Fall too easily
Not easily fallen

Waiting, waiting
Time ticks on
No changes here as I carry on

Keep walking
Pass me by
Not worth the time

Without an answer…

I think I’m little too jaded by my past. These things that I have moved past still haunt me when I’m not paying attention. Stuck here on these pages I ramble on and keep dumping this torment on you.

I’m sick of being stuck; putting so much effort in for others and not getting anything back. It hurts when you find yourself alone too much, loosing more inch by inch as time passes.

I am tough when I lie to the world around me about my thick skin. I bleed just as easy when no ones looking.

I’ve learned to parade around, bending the truth, displaying this mannequin as my true identity. I can’t remember the last time I was me, no holding back. I look out for others but don’t know how to look out for myself.

Truth is you wouldn’t even recognize me if you met me. My act edited for every detail. Seeing this transpire… a car crash you can’t take your eyes off.

I don’t know what I want, or what can fix this labyrinth I navigate through daily. Stopping stopping to translate this mess. I spill through my fingers to liberate the pressure.

?Me? ?Myself? & ??

It’s amazing the conversations you hold in you head for no one else to hear, every word unsaid. Contemplating life, everyday choices, what’s happening and where to go.

I imagine how things could be different, where I might be, who I could be. I yearn to live in the moment, fly off the handle and act irrationally. Instead I require planning and too much control over my own destiny, am I asking too much?

I’m learning to let go and relax within each situation; my life is mine to make what I want.

I’ll admit I’m a little lost, unable right now to read where I should go.

My commitments here, keep me locked in place. Even though my soul fights to be free. I need to find my escape, my something to discover. For I feel as if I’m settling for the life of the norm.

I desire to be carefree and to do as I please. To speak my mind, affect the life of others and to make a difference.

It’s all happening too slowly. Am I stuck in one place? Or can I not see what I already have?

I will find my answers, when it’s time, here reading between the lines.

Safeguard

I sprinkle my fairy dust over you to keep you safe
This way you’ll keep while I’m gone

My effect on you and all the others goes unnoticed until there’s no dust let to save you from yourself

Everything comes crashing down as it all blows away
No tiny grains left to ease the damage
Not knowing or understanding what’s going on, you call out for help
Seeking your angel once again.

Reaching for me, sometimes feels too far
Taking all your strength
Careful not to fall, you grab your guardian once again

Holding me by the hand, shielded by my power
Encased by gentle wings

Craving the protection, my power to relieve your pain
Careful with what you do
Don’t drain me down, I can not deny your needs