Most Amazing...

Let me tell you about a woman of all time…Born in a small house, she grew up as a middle child, her fathers’ daughter and a beautiful vibrant girl. She wore pretty dresses, had beautiful golden hair, spoke ever so eloquently, and took pride in her strong relationships with her family. She grew up fast taking on the roles of a young adult very quickly. You could get by on a quarter a day; take the bus with a penny.

She grew up with no running water, no internet or phone. She worked different jobs, secretarial & childcare, all the while remaining in her hometown. She watched the city grow, as she was a bystander to its development. She stood by to see momentous changes in daily life, electricity, telephones, TVs, & indoor plumbing becoming things that no one thinks twice about. She was employed at 15, engaged at 21 and married at 22. Her favorite colour is thalo blue and she loved to curl and swim at the Winter Club. She has a love for the outdoors, the gift of a beautiful voice and a hand that captured landscapes with oil paints. She loves her cars, the Oldsmobile, the Impala and carries herself in such a prestigious manner.

She fell in love with a man that captured her soul and gave her 4 children. She’s traveled the world and shares her travels with pride, if you choose to listen. She cares so deeply for all of her family and believes in each and everyone.

If she has you over for tea, expect to be treated like royalty as she often dines with the queen. She’ll roll her eyes at you when she’s being cheeky and put you in your place if need be, her words only spoken with love. She has her own language “please pass me the jigger” but you’ll always know what she means.

This woman is no ordinary woman. She is a very special person indeed. This woman is my hero. The woman is my grandma.

Grandma, I love you more than words could ever express. Love you so! C

Cause she’s gone gone gone gone.

Grandma where have you gone.
I haven’t felt you once, even thought I’m so broken inside.
You left too soon, taking my heart with you.

I feel numb I just want you back.
How do I go on without the woman I would run to?

I will miss our afternoon teas, our chats and goofy times together.
I will cherish my memories and be thinking of you always.

You’re an amazing lady, one of the last of your kind.
I wish I had more time.
Life won’t be the same with out you.

I love you so, goodbye.

Lifeless

This dream is my nightmare, it just won't go away.
Tensions built up in my muscles and continues to grow.
I’m hurting a hurt I have never known.

I can’t seem to fine me or where I belong.
Liquid poison numbs my thoughts, pushing normality farther and farther away.

Reality is rushing back with the force of a wrecking ball
Heading straight for me.

Standing my ground
Firm feet in spot
I don’t move, stare directly ahead
A perfect target.

Time will determine my fate as my body keeps beating my mind and breaking my heart.

This dream is my reality, this dreams my life.

Emptied Life

Hit me hard and please wake me up
Pinch me, shake me and don’t let go.
This can’t be happening.

I can’t feel a thing and yet I’m gonna be sick.

I can’t

I can’t

I can’t

Until now I didn’t have any regrets.

Must be done

The darkness brings a pain lie no other
As the clouds turn gray and release buckets upon buckets I can’t help but think they represent how I feel.
Stormy clouds settle in and are here to stay, permanently pouring down pain.

I lye awake in my bed thinking of you. I didn’t mean to hurt you the way that I did.
Tears fall freely, I have no control now, I’ve lost another one on my search for something… something that I cannot explain.

I double think my decisions wondering if it’s right.
Assuring myself, that I don’t know what I’m doing any more.

Sad songs play on as I try to become unconscious.
Not aware that my dreams are here to torment me
No rest for now.

Keeping busy makes days pass faster, when 2 days feels like months between us.

I wish I could take away your pain, show you something better is on its way. Because as my past has shown, your one is on its way to find you, just wait.

Contained on the inside

I sit here thinking
Stressing over the idea that I could never bare to loose a friend.
I value you, your opinion and our friendship more than anything.
I was torn at what to do, not sure what you’d think,
Didn’t want to hide something so simple.

I was honest and so were you
I didn’t want any awkwardness
I understand where you are coming from and fully respect it
I love that you look out for me like that, my bestest.


I feel alone yet surrounded by too much family
So I put up a façade, not letting anyone know what truly lies below.
You know the true me and see how I ache inside
With out any words from my mouth you know me too well
I don’t know how you do it
but thank you

Right now, the company is a breath of fresh air
Minds cleared
I’m not that girl
If that’s what he wants he’ll soon find out that’s not what he’s gonna get.
No strings attached


Please trust that no matter what I will be ok
Things will be ok
I’m guarded and not that simple
We used to always say everything happens for a reason; maybe that’s just it

I look to you, I hope that's ok
I have nowhere else to turn.