?Me? ?Myself? & ??

It’s amazing the conversations you hold in you head for no one else to hear, every word unsaid. Contemplating life, everyday choices, what’s happening and where to go.

I imagine how things could be different, where I might be, who I could be. I yearn to live in the moment, fly off the handle and act irrationally. Instead I require planning and too much control over my own destiny, am I asking too much?

I’m learning to let go and relax within each situation; my life is mine to make what I want.

I’ll admit I’m a little lost, unable right now to read where I should go.

My commitments here, keep me locked in place. Even though my soul fights to be free. I need to find my escape, my something to discover. For I feel as if I’m settling for the life of the norm.

I desire to be carefree and to do as I please. To speak my mind, affect the life of others and to make a difference.

It’s all happening too slowly. Am I stuck in one place? Or can I not see what I already have?

I will find my answers, when it’s time, here reading between the lines.

Safeguard

I sprinkle my fairy dust over you to keep you safe
This way you’ll keep while I’m gone

My effect on you and all the others goes unnoticed until there’s no dust let to save you from yourself

Everything comes crashing down as it all blows away
No tiny grains left to ease the damage
Not knowing or understanding what’s going on, you call out for help
Seeking your angel once again.

Reaching for me, sometimes feels too far
Taking all your strength
Careful not to fall, you grab your guardian once again

Holding me by the hand, shielded by my power
Encased by gentle wings

Craving the protection, my power to relieve your pain
Careful with what you do
Don’t drain me down, I can not deny your needs

Unleash the Unknown...Exhale

Darling your mind is torturing your body with everything, too busy to stress, too stressed to be busy.

Occupying your mind with too much taken on, the silence hurts more than it should, when holding conversations with your heart and your head.

I repeat advice I finally learned to take myself… breathe in and out and release it all
No holding on, don’t keep it all for later.
Talk to me, always close to listen

I worry about you and wish I could make it all better.
But for now we’ll take one step at a time
Let me carry some weight it’s just too much to hold.

This is it

Systems functioning as normal as can be.
Fuel can be toxic, the engines strong, no putters, no misses spitting out

Pointing a finger at two, I blame you and you
No pressure left, nothing to stress
It’s me that I want to be, can finally be.

Anxiety is something that only comes around from time to time, yet its gone before the urge to run and break free could ever take me over… as it once did

Funny how things are connected that way.
Never would have known without the perspective of jumping out and stepping back away from you two.

This is my now as I march forward freely.
My past is a part of me that can no longer control my mind, suffocate my soul or trash my heart.

It covers my body as I’m ready for the unimaginable and the ecstasy I know awaits me.

Waiting to finish

So much I want to write down
No patience to spill, it won’t be authentic
So drained when I do
Difficulty writing the parts of me to pages of my life, that’s stuck in one spot…
The end is only the beginning
Of another chapter
Another piece that needs to be told
And not undone

?Me?

Where am I now with all that I have? A support system for many, a rock they say… with no tears. I learn through experience. Hard to take advice from others.
Suborn.

Wish you were HERE

I sit here in pain, looking at pictures of you, of us
Tears come to my eyes, but I won’t let them out.

It’s hard to deal with the fact that you’re gone
Gone forever

I’m aching, just wanting you back
I’m not ready to do this without you

I don’t know how to make it stop, I’m not sure what to do

I busy myself, to occupy my thoughts
Only to find it hurts even more when I stop.